Throughout the 90’s it wasn’t common to have a cellphone, they were crazy expensive, it will cost $.25 cents a Text, no data, and calling was unheard of, only for emergencies. I only had a pager, a dial-up connection, and a Compaq Computer that my crazy Grandmother gave me. When my mother got back from her trip seeing my Grandmother, things started to change, Thanks to Mary who I will now call Gomer (Gomer: “Her name was indicative of the wholesale adultery and idolatry of the kingdom she represented. As “a wife of whoredoms,” this woman of the Northern Kingdom, regarded as an idolatress, became a symbol of her people”)

I no longer had access to the phone in the house, I had to walk to a payphone to make my phone calls and ask my back then BF to pick me up. Being 17 had its limitation, being 17, Gay, and having a Gomer as my sister was like living in a prison. While I was still navigating the crazy waters at home with my mom not approving of my sexuality, I had Gomer ready for battle and attack with all her religious fury towards me. Gomer started by visiting one of my good friends from high school to get more information about my BF, where he worked (he was one year older than me) went to school, etc., when my friend never gave her any information, she accused my friend of turning me Gay, that it was her fault(I really don’t have any explanation of how she got to that conclusion). My friends mother ended up kicking my sister out of her house calling her Crazy and to never come back again. My friend and I laughed about it saying how crazy she was and continued with our lives. During the next few days, I would be picked up by my BF after school and Gomer had her church friends follow us everywhere, we went, we knew, they were not the most discreet nor they had any special James Bond talents, they were just weirdly looking women with very long hair, wearing below knee jean skirts and the guy was dressed like a Mormon type (same guy every time).

One day Gomer went to my BF’s work, he worked at a department store (imagine, Kmart, sears, jc penny type of store) and waited for him at the cafeteria area to talk to him, she claimed he had perverse eyes and demanded that he stops contacting me, when he said for her to mind her all business, she started flipping the lunchroom table, chairs, screaming like a crazy person and started praying (yelling) “Get away from our family Satan!” (I only wished I had a smart phone for recording it) but they were security videos that I, unfortunately, had to be shown because it happened while my BF was at work and he almost got fired because of it. There was not much I could do while living under my parents’ roof while underage, I only counted the days to turning 18 so I could officially leave. My Mother cut me off any weekly allowance ($30 dollars a week) I had no car access, no phone. I would get home every day to my Mom crying thanks to Gomer that kept filling her head up with religious nonsense, taking her to church almost every day to pray for me, to pray that Satan will soon leave my body.

My sister told my mother, that I got fucked in the ass every day (literary) (I was a virgin at that point, well half virgin) and that she was pretty sure I already had AIDS (Being Gay in the 90’s cannot compare to the present day, we had absolutely zero rights, we were still harassed, bullied and had a stigma written in our forehead of Gay=AIDS=DEATH, I cannot imagine the previous generation before me and I know there is so much to get done in terms of the LGTBQ rights to this day, but at least I see a light at the end of the tunnel). Imagine, at 17, you're fucking sister, telling your mom you had AIDS just because you were Gay. At this point my mom really didn’t know what else to do, so they will lock me up in my bedroom after 7 PM and lock every door and gate of the house. Since I was locked up in my room, (it was like kind of the garage but still inside the house) I had to make the best of it, christmas lights all year around, TV, DVD player and posters of every single gay Icon specially the Spice Girls, I still had my Dial Up because without internet I couldn’t do my homework (that was my excuse) Late at night I would go out through the aluminum windows out of my bedroom to see my friends and BF. When they noticed it was not working, they tried to take me to NY to a gay correctional facility managed by a branch of her church. They showed me the pamphlet trying to convince me that I was going to have the time of my life, mind you, I never knew those camps existed, not even in movies, that was never out in the public, but I knew something was not right and I refused, there was no fucking way I was taking that plane (tickets paid by the church) Lucky I was able to convince my mom that it was going to be a bad idea leaving school in my last year.

To be fair to my mother, she was an uneducated housewife and completely ignorant to social issues. She never had a proper education because of her Mother (which sometimes I called Satan in the flesh) she had to marry at a very young age (15) to my Father (31) who at that point was an alcoholic, loved to gamble and had mistresses all over town, just to get away from her mom. I saw my grandmother many times as a kid insulting my mother for no specific reason, saying how useless and incompetent women/mother she was and how everything was her fault. Through all the hell Gomer was making me live through, I still kept a very positive attitude, she will come on a weekly basis with her church entourage, they will gather around me while I was eating lunch and watching TV, held hands, and prayed, they prayed Evil will leave my body, they prayed that I will become Heterosexual and chanted out load like what you normally see on TV verses from the bible, when I would stand up or tell them to move because they were blocking my view from the TV, they will put their hands on me and pray, that’s when I would lash out at them and tell them to fuck off and while I was walking out they will follow me, I would go into my room and they will continue to pray for me outside my door, I had to put a chair to block them from entering because you know, Gomer had a Key to lock me in my bedroom from the outside.

Since the power of God wasn’t strong enough to cure me of my horrible disease of being gay, Gomer suggested I’ve been taken to a physiatrist, which I was fine with it. At the appointment was my Mom, Gomer and me. First, I went in alone, I explained what was going on and how I felt which she looked at me, don’t worry, it seems your sister is the one with the problem, I felt such a relieve, after all these months of torture from my fucking cunt of a sister, someone, a professional was on my side. When it was time for the three of us in the same room, my sister started talking about how the devil was in my head and she was hoping that she could prescribe me pills to help me out and take the gay away or maybe use some hypnotherapy. After Gomer recited all the verses in the bible she can remember, the Physiatrist said: I can see clearly here what the problem is, it’s not Aldrich, it’s not your Mom, it is simply you, and I strongly suggest that you start looking for professional help before it’s too late, to which Gomer replied: I’m not Crazy! I’m not Crazy! I’m not Crazy! insulting her she stormed out of the office.

During all of this I kept calm, I had a plan (I always have a plan) I knew it was only a few more months staying at home, I got my first job at a gas station (which the manager, a woman, stole from our paycheck every week but that’s another story) and saved my money to be able to rent an apartment so even though Gomer was going all crazy around town, going to my high school, blaming the director that they didn’t do enough to keep me from being gay I kept my eyes on the price, my freedom. At school thanks to her, every single teacher, parents knew I was gay, and they didn’t know what to with me. I had only one teacher coming to me and helping me out, she was the only human being that worked at the school that reached out to me and said, I’m here from you and I will never forget it, her words meant everything to me. When it was my Highschool Graduation, finally the last day at school, I was ecstatic, I was only a few days from turning 18 and my BF as well as my whole family and church entourage were present. In the middle of the ceremony, I head people yelling, my mom crying, prayers, a big scene was caused by Gomer and her church buddies, chairs were thrown at him, they insulted him, yelled at him, telling him to leave me alone, lucky, I had a BF who didn’t give a flying fuck, he just stood calm (all 5’01” tall, he was almost a midget) and ignored them, eventually security had to come and escort Gomer and buddies out of the room (One of the best memories of my high school graduation) a few days later, at 12:01AM the day of my Birthday I turned 18 and had all my things packed and a friend picking me up in the middle of the night, I left the house and never looked back, my mom was crying and she knew at that point that she had lost me for good, there was no one holding me back.

I didn’t hear from my sister for a very long time, A few weeks later, a very angry woman showed up to my Mother’s home asking for Gomer, this is when the secret was out, Gomer had been having an affair with the Married Pastor from Church all of this time, all this time her Church Buddies was actually the guy she was fucking, going to Motels and having sex in the parking lot of the church (his wife didn’t hold back in giving explicit details to my mom) was the guy that followed me, put his hand on my head to pray, prayed outside my bedroom, all this time, he was praying and using the name of God to crucify me, all while fucking my sister. Nice right? Soon after Gomer went back to my mom’s house, she had lost her job and was pregnant by the married Pastor with twins, which he was trying to convince her to get an abortion because he was married and was already a granddad (what will the church say?). Gomer was never the same, she definitely lost head mind, she would sit in corners just praying to herself for hours while staring at the wall. Even after having the twins, she continued with her struggles in her own head. I think I can make 100 chapters of Gomer of all the fucked-up things she did to hurt me or my mom. When people are so involved in religion it gets to a point that it turns into a cult, (nothing wrong with having faith and practicing any religion) everyone is free to believe in whatever the fuck makes them happy, as long as you don’t use religion as an excuse for hatred, it should be used for unity. Till this day 20 years later we don’t have any brother-sister relation, I have never held a conversation that hasn’t lasted for more than 10 seconds that hasn’t ended in an argument that I’m always replying, didn’t you get pregnant by your married pastor? That has always been the medicine to keep her quiet. I made my peace 20 years ago that we were only related by blood, but not by anything else and I have always felt free by it. Even though I have 3 sisters and 1 brother, for me is my Mother, my Dad, and Me. The fact that you are born into a Family doesn’t mean you have to stick to it; you can choose who your real family is and in many cases, it is never the one you were born into. Have you’ve been hurt by the double standards of religion?